Epilogue

Look, I thought we could be friends, and I tried, but I was wrong. It’s not for lack of connection or affection, it’s just not going to work out. I’d love to crawl inside your mind, just for a quick visit, to find the answer to this question – What the hell are you thinking?

Seriously, I don’t see what you see when you make the requests that you do. I can’t fathom why you think I would bargain for that. Is it an inability to step back from the situation and see it for what it is? Or do you want what you want so badly that feedback from the other party doesn’t matter? Is it desperation or arrogance? I’m not sure what it is but believe me when I say I don’t want any part of it.

I don’t even think you want what you think you want, or that you have a grasp on what you’re asking for. I think you have an alternate reality going on in your mind, one that you believe is completely true and attainable. What’s sad is that you will never get it, because it doesn’t exist. No one is going to come in and take that pain away for you, or reverse what has already begun to destroy your sanity. No one can fulfill that fantasy, even if they wanted to. It’s tragic, but it’s true.

I don’t mean to say that you deserve to suffer, that you should suffer, or that you should suffer alone. You have to find the love in the world where it is. You can’t demand that it come to you in a certain gift-wrapped package, ready to sacrifice itself to give you everything you need RIGHT NOW. If you insist on this and this only, you will suffer more, and end up lonely.

You have to find the love in the world where it is. It’s there, but it’s destroyed by desperation. Love often doesn’t look like we expect it to, and most of the great love I’ve known in this life had nothing to do with romance, urgency or possession. You’re going about it all wrong, my friend, but it is there. I hope you recognize it when you see it.